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If there is one thing I know how to do successfully, it is how to embrace the pivot. Recently, a friend and I were out shopping when we saw a sign that said, “Create a Life You Love.” She turned to me and said, “This is you.” She speaks truth. The reality is, I had to claw my way into this life.
When I was younger, I didn’t realize how much control and agency I truly had, and simply followed the track that I was placed on. Since then, my life has veered drastically off course several times, causing me to stop, do a deep dive, and ask myself,
After several years of teaching sixth grade, I recognized a larger calling into worship ministry. Through sweat, tears, training, and fears I was able to successfully transition into a new career as a worship leader and songwriter. I literally sing for my supper, and it’s amazing.
Later I found myself in yet another toxic, harmful relationship, only this time it made it all the way to marriage. One day, I realized I had to stop. I analyzed all of my relationships and realized that I had a pattern of partnering with addicts and abusers, and it wasn’t working. I paused again and asked myself –
No. I was not. No. He was not. So I walked away. Rather than go for addict 4.0 or abuser 3.0, I took a break from relationships, did the work, and I broke the cycle of codependency that plagued me for over a decade.
I learned how to set boundaries, how to love myself and how to surround myself with nurturing people. Financially stable and independent. Working, growing, laughing, and loving a man who knows how to love me back in a healthy way, and loving on children from both the past and present.